Alrighty everyone, because news travels quickly here in College Station, there's no use keepin' it a secret.
Bad News: Yes, I no longer work at Harley-Davidson. Yes, I was fired. Yes, it was my fault and it was irresponsible.
Good News: I got a new job with the same pay less than an hour after I was fired. I mean I actually filled out the W4 before I was even interviewed. I now work for Kyle Marko's parents!
I'm not gonna lie, I made Harley out to be a dream job to anyone who listened. I mean, how often does one get to ride a motorcycle on the job? In the freezing cold? On the same route that smells because it's next to the dump? One that has no twisties? On the same damn bikes over and over? Hmmm... doesn't sound as great as Phil made it out to sound! Even then, I only got to ride them maybe once every two days I worked. So that's not all that great. It's seriously only maybe 8 minutes of riding. So the rest of the time you're cleaning underneath the damn touring packs on the Ultra Classics (the big gay mooooose bikes you see around). You also get tired of hearing people getting after you for trying to take initiative and doing a job a more efficient way. The worst part of the job was that no matter how much progress you made in the last week, you mess up once or forget to do one little thing and you're back to square one. Oh, and no more "Bubbles" and no more danger of getting trenchfoot back in the bay! It was fun while it lasted =)
Ok, now that the "important" stuff is out of the way, HA. Nothing's changed except location.
Let's talk about something far more interesting. Stupid things!
Tim's 24th birthday party was amazing. On Friday night I went over to his place and there we were with a keg of Ziegenbock and plenty of whiskey and other stuff for boozehounds like me. Note to all Probation Officers and People of the Law that read: No, I did not drink to intoxication or did I contribute alcohol to minors. Now that the legal stuff is out of the way, I want you all to know that "takin' licks" from a wooden axe handle is not the most fun of A&M Bonfire traditions. I in no way wished to partake in this event, but Tim requested it as his birthday present. FINE. So most of you have never met Brute before. Brute is a big dude. This is why he's named "Brute." Brute had the axe handle. The axe handle hurts on impact. The bruise on my left butt cheek hurts even more. It's ok, Tim got owned as well and so did about 20 other people. I also saw a guy dunk his Aggie Ring in 12 seconds in a full pitcher of Ziegenbock. Yes. Yes I did.
I apparently thought getting on the roof would be a good idea. Thanks Benni for that boost! Ass. Once I was up there I didn't really feel like getting down. But of course Tim got up as soon as I got down and then couldn't figure out where I had vanished to.
I also acted like an old man with a walking stick. I pushed my glasses down to the tip of my nose, hunched over and had a pipe in my mouth. Oh yeah, I was classy and was smoking from a pipe. Good times!
Brute on the other hand did not have such a good night. Karma came back and roughed him up a bit =) Hehe, well deserved! He passed out in the bathroom downstairs and then proceeded to pass out in the bathroom UPstairs! That'll teach you to hit people with wood...
I'm posting as quickly as possible, because this story is by far not as interesting as the Dog Lady, but all is well. Like I've said before, it's my blog and you're here because you want to be.
Night Two.
I woke up around 3pm feeling pretty crappy from what MUST have been bad eggs from the night before ;) Uh oh, Felipe was supposed to have been at work at 7:30am...WAY TO GO FOOL. Anyways...Tim needs me. Without me his is nothing. Without me his parties are nothing. How could I not have shown up? =) Went to go eat with Tim at Wendy's and then went to Arsenal Tattoo. He wanted to see if he could get his tattoo scheduled on a certain day, or possibly right then if the apprentice was available. Andre (or Andres?) just so happened to be busy at 7pm, but was free then! Sweet! I've never been present whilst someone was getting stabbed with an inky needle! I was also super stoked that I was going to see Tim in pain, because he causes a lot of misery to others and retribution should always be swift and painful. He decided to get a quote on his ribs from an old german mystic/prophet:
Those who begin by
Burning books will
End by burning men.
Right before the Nazis came to power apparently. Don't know the credibility but it's a pretty neat tattoo.
Yep, I'll probably be getting one soon. I talked with the apprentice and I'm thinking something on the lines of a Crusader-style cross...something with a Knight...coat of armsish...I dunno. We shall see.
So after seeing him squeal like a little girl (no he was alright I guess, could have been more manly though) we seperated and I went over to Chris Bundicks. Yep, another ring dunk. This time 5 people were dunking their rings. Caroline and her roommates showed up, along with a LOT of other people. Old coworkers, random friends, you name it. Good times. Chris vomited once and placed last in the ring drunk (or dunk.) To be fair, everyone else spilled beer all over their shirts while he spilled almost nothing. Victory is yours Chris. There was rooftop drinking and beer pong, speed quarters, and waterfall. I told Caroline (although she probably doesn't remember) and others that I would post about new rules that stem from those wonderful moments at the party =) We will put them in list format, because I like to do that for some reason...
1. Anti-Freeze will forever be made with everclear.
2. People under 5'5'' should abstain from as much Anti-Freeze as possible. Hehehe
3. Cell Phones will remain under their owners control. If your name is J.R. you will abide by this rule on pain of death.
4. Switching between parties is a no-no if you are a host. This means you Chris. That other party sucked anyways.
5. You must now warn others before you vomit by A)Running around in circles B)The Universal Choking Gesture or C)Making loud funny noises that sound almost but not entirely unlike a seal.
6.Vomiting on your hands is no longer considered stylish (SORRY Caroline! I had to! Hehehe)
7. If you do not accompany persons on a trip to a place of food, you are not entitled to complain about your lack of receiving food or the other's auspiciousness unless the other party confirms your want and selection of food. (Steelie, you're a bastard. McDonald's had no tacos.) It may help to apply for food in triplicate =)
After waking up without the bothersome noise of a cell phone, Chris and I decided that we were gonna go to Houston. Yeah. 'Cause why not? Kevin and Clay were down their showing off Clay's 1991 VW MK3 G60? I can't remember which Mark it was. But that doesn't matter. Road trips are badass. Me and C-Thuggin hit up the outlet malls out there right outside Houston for the sole reason that we could. Yeah, making your own schedule is nice.
I got some new sunglasses that dope as hell. Yeah, I said that =) They're fake Ferrari brand hehehe.
Got home and made it in bed at around 9:30 and fell asleep around 11pm. Not bad. A very good weekend surprisingly.
So here I am at 4:40pm on Monday and I've got nothing else for y'all. I think I might go get a gym membership here and go shopping for a crapload of food.
I'll post up again soon. Maybe even tonight. Who knows?
Somewhere in Wiscaaansin,
P-Thuggin v2.4
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